||[Sep. 12th, 2007|01:19 am]
If anything could be said, it'd be that im getting antsy. Classes dont start for 2 more weeks, im going out out of my mind, straight up.
It leaves time to think, time to regress, and time to recollect on everything that's occured in my life. And, none of it seems to bad, in the long run. I've fucked up about as much as the next person, and i try to reconsile myself to that, so that i may improve on it. But is that ever even good enough? How far to you hae to go to please someone who isn't happy with anything? How to you explain the concept of contentment to someone who cant even enjoy the breeze? Hustle, bustle, go, go, gogogogogogogogogogogoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That, is always, the saddest thing. To always feel like you have to be doing something. Because, god forbid you're forced to look inward. To examine what you are, what you believe, what you hold dear, what you love. What love even means. Is it the desire to be close ro someone, physically and emotionally, or is it the fear of being alone? Is it what drives you, or stops you in your tracks? Such silly questions. You might as well try to define what love isnt.
If only everything could be real. Honest. Enjoyable. Simple.
But where would the fun be in that? If i have to suffer, then wouldn't that make the good that much better?
I'll never forget what love is. I'll never lose sight of what i want, rather;
What i'm going to take. And for now, that's a cool nights sleep on a hammock, with a clear sky and chilling breeze.
I might even need a blanket.